Crack Cat
by Kuro-Cha'Nay'Nay
Summary: A well though out summary of our favorite anime/manga. Well... Not really. Crackfic. REPOST.


******Hey, guys. I'm SOSO sorry I haven't been on in forever. I know I've still got a lot of requests to complete, but I've been horribly busy. So I thought I'd at least give you something - an old parody I wrote two years ago. XD I'm aware that it's quite terrible, but for that reason I hope that you get a laugh out of it. I'll be uploading more fics soon, I promise! I'll see you then~!**

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**Crack Cat**

Black Cat is basically an epic tale of BAAAAAAAAW and buttsecks. Our story begins with with the depressed lesbian assassin known as Train Heartnet, who is constantly stalked by his gay emo faggot ex partner, Creed Diskenth, who thinks of nothing except lulz and buttsecks.

Train eventually gets tired of being raped and used as a sex toy by Jenos and the other faggots of Chronos, and he starts to wonder if this is truly the life for him. (No duh?)

Then a random beeawtch from the hood named Saya pushes him off the roof one night when he's all stoned on milk, and he almost breaks his neck and dies. After an epic betchslapping session, Train befriends Saya and bitches to her about all his psychological problems. She tells him to stop screwing around and killing people because killing isn't nice and all that bullshit. Saya also suggests that he should get together with other lesbians to discuss his problems. Train thanks her and then joins a counseling group where he eventually gets over his faggotry and becomes a real man and stops murdering the shit out of people.

Now, meanwhile, Creed is all peeved off because Train isn't a fag anymore and since they aren't sleeping in the same room they can't have surprise buttsecks. Creed then gets the idea that Train was in love with Saya instead, so her murders her in the ass. Thus started the meaningless BAAAAW faggotry, or the whole point of Black Cat. Creed went off on an epic journey on Facebook to gather a band of internetdwellers that have nothing better to do with their lives except join his sick plot to take over the planet and destroy all people named Michael. (O.o)

Meanwhile, while Creed is fagging out, Train became depressed and went back to his lesbian ways. He later got married to a lesbian drug attic sweeper named Sven Vollfied, which pissed Creed off even more. Along the way on their sweeper duties, they met a prostitute named Rinslet, who randomly becameTrain's woman stalker. Next, when some fat emo shit named Torneo Rudman created the emo little girl Eve, Sven the lesbian pedophile just HAD to go kidnap her from her Uncle and drag her with them. This bitch is so emo and retarded that she barely speaks to anyone except her lover Sven and never does anything except turn her arms into knives and read. Like said above, she was madly in love with Sven, but her hopes and dreams were shattered when she realized that he was gay and was already married to Train. This is why she became jealous and promised herself that she would one day rape and murder Train so that she could be Sven's wife instead of him.

Later, Train and the group teamed up with another group of fags to combat Creed. One of the fags, River, is so retarded that he purposely walked into the street and got hit by a bus because he thought he saw Train running around in the street in a sexy strapless dress. That branded him with the title, "What an IDIOT!" By Train in book 14.

So basically one group of faggots went to battle with the other group of faggots. The chaos only ended when Train finally shot off Creed's tiny penis, thus ending the epic battle of faggotry and putting Saya's soul to rest. Then, Train and Sven were able to start over in their lives as a happy lesbian couple, with Eve as their screwed up kid. She never was able to kill Train.

Creed was sent off to a mental institution while Charden and the rest of his fags ran off somewhere deep into the forest for the root and berry retreat.

But then, Crazy Steve broke into the mental institution and shot Creed to death. Because he can.

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**Yeah, this was basically made to troll the fandom, but don't get me wrong, I love Black Cat! 3 Feel free to review if you're not entirely disgusted. **


End file.
